Studying While on Maternity Leave

I started a new position earlier this year. One of the business goals and objectives my new manager has set forth for the year is to learn two new areas of study. This is a goal I struggle with. Since I am a mother, my free time is very limited and spending it advancing myself for work is a challenge. I had brought up my concern to my manager. He is understanding and said its not a high ranking goal. Many of my coworkers take classes on their personal time and I cannot afford the time to do that. I feel guilty.

I had this great idea of learning a new technology while on maternity leave. I would have lots of time, right? Well, here I am only a few weeks left of leave and I have studied nothing. I'm a software engineer. My team uses LINQ and I had planned to brush up on that. I even borrowed a book on LINQ from a coworker before my leave started. I have not opened the book.

I'm already panicking how quickly my return to work date is approaching and I have very little desire to spend it studying. I am being a lousily employee. When I look back at this time will I think about the technologies I learned or the time I spent with my new daughter? The LINQ book just might stay closed.

Love,