How I Managed to Be a Single Parent For a Week

I have a great employer. That's how I did it.

I work part time (Mon-Thurs). I flexed my work schedule. I worked a full day the Friday before my husband left so I could work shorter days while he was gone. With my long commute, pumping, and lunch, I'm typically gone 10-11 hours a day. There is no way I could work a full day and do both daycare drop off and pick up. A downside to using an in home daycare is that our daycare closes early - 5:30pm. Besides, I wouldn't want my kids to be in daycare 11 hours.

Working short days was a blessing. It made our week go rather smoothly. Thank you to my employer and manager for being flexible. I know I'm fortunate & not all companies are as supportive of working parents.

My daughters and I getting some snuggle time in while Dad was gone.

Love,

Single Pumping Working Momma

Those words shouldn't go together. If I was a full time single parent there is no way I would pump. My kid would definitely be formula fed. I would have to get myself plus 2 kids ready in the morning, drop kids off at daycare, drive to work, work a full day, drive home, pick up kids, cook dinner, play with kids, bathe kids, bedtime with kids x2, get house work done, crash in bed. I didn't see any room to take time to pump at work, store milk in bags, or sanitize pump parts. That would definitely be the first to go.


Love,

Single Parent

For all those single parents or parents with deployed spouses, I salute you. You have one TOUGH job.

I had a taste of being a single parent this month. Hubby went on work travel for 6 days. I'm counting Sunday through Friday as 6 days.

I decided that being a temporary single parent is like running.

When you first start you feel great. You go too fast and do not pace yourself. You're super mom. Shortly afterwards fatigue sets in and you decide this suck. You question why you are doing this. The end seems far away. That was my Tuesday. It will get its own post. Awful day. Then you get over the hump and realize you can do it. You pull your head up and say this isn't so bad. And finally the end! You see the finish line and you sprint. Then you crash on the ground.

I hope to not do this frequently. It takes a team to raise small children. I'm THANKFUL my husband is back!

Love,

Each 24 Hours is a Gift

My priest must read my mind. His homilies are always in tune with whats going on with my life. Today he preached that "each 24 hours is a gift."

That struck home with this working momma. So many times lately I have said there are not enough hours in a day. I've been focusing on what I cannot get accomplished, get done, or miss out on. I've been focusing on all the wrong things. I should focus on how blessed I am. I do love my life but I keep stressing over what is not perfect about it. Well that's enough.

I'm going to change. I'm going to take each day as a gift. I get to wake up every morning next to my best friend when others are lonely. I get to hug two beautiful girls that God graced us with when I know too many people that are struggling with infertility. I get to work for a wonderful, generous employer that let's me work part time while other's are looking for work or their jobs keep them away from their families. I have my health (this I really am thankful for lately due to my long C-Section recovery), while other's are limited by their bodies. I have loving family and friends. I am blessed. My day is a gift.

So when I only get an hour of quality time with my daughters, didn't get around to doing the dishes, ran out of time to work out, or wasn't able to call my mom, I won't stress. I'll remind myself, today was a gift. It truly is.

How are your days a gift? How do you focus on the positives of being a working mother?

Love,

Sippy Cup Champ

In college I was a Flip Cup Champ.

Now as a mother I'm a Sippy Cup Champ.

I can assemble and dissemble sippy cups at lightning speed. I have skills.

I feel like a solider assembling and dissembling his riffle. This is a skill I didn't realize I would be proud to brag about as a collage undergrad. Oh to be a mother.

Love,

My Latelys

My goodness it's been a while. Are you still reading? I'm here.

Now that I'm a working mom of TWO small children, I'm struggling with finding time to blog. That and about everything else. I am exhausted. I do have topics in my head. I need a device that allows me to talk to text while driving on my work commute. That would do the trick.

Lets see....

Lacey is super sweet and such an easy baby. Her big sister was not an easy baby. I could have many more babies if they were all like Lacey. She is not sleeping through the night which is very frustrating. She's 4 months old now. Baby Teagan consistently slept through the night at this age. I have no idea how I haven't fallen asleep at work. I'm a zombie and a big contributor to the coffee industry.

Teagan is 3. And boy it sure is the terrible 3's. I'm not a fan of this age. It's mentally exhausting. Taking care of a baby is easier.  I'm thankful she has daycare ;) .

Going back to work the 2nd time was easier for me. I really was stressing about going back since this time I knew what I was getting myself into. But it hasn't been as hard. I love little Lacey so much and miss her dearly when I work, but I'm okay with it. I haven't had any breakdowns like I did with baby Teagan. Maybe I'm just stronger.

Please don't stop following my blog. I do plan on keeping it. :)

<3 Love Love Love My Girls <3

Love,

Breastfeeding Working Momma

In order to continue breastfeeding my baby while I work, I have to pump (express milk) at work. This is no glamorous task. I personally think it's sucky.

My employer has "Mother's Rooms." They provide a clean private place with a sink and a mini fridge so I can pump at work.

So far no one else has used the room. Hell yeah! I don't have to worry about scheduling my time or someone using the room during my scheduled time. No big deal if a meeting runs late or I'm in the middle of something. The mother's room is always free for my use. I wonder if this will last until I'm done breastfeeding.

I'm working in a different building then when I pumped for Teagan so I'm using a different mother's room.  With the room I used for Teagan, there were times I thought I might explode due to scheduling conflicts or missed pump session times. However I did bond and make friends with the other mommas that used the room. We kept a journal in the room and wrote to each other while pumping. It was very supportive and I enjoyed being a pumping momma penpal.

I once had a week long training class in a building where our business people work (I'm in engineering). They had 2 mother's rooms and those rooms were booked solid all day. I had to pump in my car. Which means I had to park at the far side of the parking lot, use windshield sun shades, and hope no one walks by. One perk to being an engineer is that my coworkers are mostly male and thus less pumping mommas to use the mother's room.

The mother's room I use now is on a different level and a little bit of a walk. I can appreciate the extra exercise since I'm not at my pre baby weight yet. My extra out and about breaks has gotten other's attention. As I frequently pass the same people in the hall, they ask me why I'm on their level or out so much. I proudly tell them I'm using the mother's room. This quickly ends the conversation. I smile and watch them squirm from discomfort. I'm waiting for the day when someone asks what is a mother's room. Then I can make really them uncomfortable. Saying the word breast at work makes every male panic. It must be from all the sexual harassment training. Hehe.

Probably the only plus from pumping at work (yes yes I'm also providing food for my baby) is that it gives me time to read. I fogot how much I read pumping for Teagan. I never get quiet alone time to myself. I just finished The Sh*tty Mom. I plan on writing a post for this book. It is HILARIOUS. It makes laugh out loud. It's a must read for any mom. Thank you to my sister-in-law for buying me it. Anyways...my mother's room is on a busy hallway. I wonder what people think as they walk by and hear the repetitive pump (suck suck suck suck) along with laughter. It's all fun and games in the mother's room. :)

The joys of being a pumping working momma!

Love,

First Week Back To Work

First week down! I think the first week back to work is one of the harder ones. It's an adjustment and you're trying to figure out a schedule that works for you, your family, and employer.

Another hard week is when your baby starts to show attachment and cries when you leave her at daycare. I remember that was around eight months for Teagan. I'm not looking forward to that milestone.

Highlights from my big week:
-Lacey cried all day her first day. Poor sweet baby. But the rest of the week she was better. She was smiley when I picked her up on the 3rd day.
-I made it to the half point of my commute before I cried on the first day and no tears after that :) With Teagan I cried when I pulled out of my subdivision. I consider this a win.
-I forgot my pin to get in my office and had to call someone to be let in. My team had made bets if I would forget. But I did remember my computer password. Another win!
-On the first day, I realized one of my breast shields (part of a breastfeeding pump) had a crack in it. I could only pump one side at a time and spent more time pumping. Fail.
-My water bottle of 7 years (a Nalgene bottle) had a slow leaking crack in it and puddled on my desk. I bought a pretty new pink one but I was sad to see my old one go. Yes, I was attached to my water bottle. 
-Still trying to figure out a schedule. My hubby did both drop off and pick up from daycare most days since with my commute and having to pump I'm gone 11 hours!

I'm thankful to have Fridays off this time around. Workday evenings go by so fast and Lacey is pretty sleepy in the evenings. A three day break is much needed.

It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I now agree that it is easier to go back with the second child. I was more stressed about the anticipation of going back then actually going  back.

First day back

Love,

How to Survive Your First Day Back to Work From Maternity Leave

Well it's actually pretty easy to survive the day since time will eventually pass and it's highly unlikely you will die. Just remember to breath and the day will end, sometime. But here are some tips.

Getting Out the Door
This will not happen at the time you want. Be prepared to be late. You had weeks or months of not setting your alarm. Now you have to change your pjs before noon plus get cute baby fed and dressed. Cute baby will decide on a different schedule then you planned  (like waking up before your alarm, or demanding to be fed while you are in the shower).

Packing Up Baby
If your daycare allows, drop off all your baby gear the week before. Diapers, wipes, bottles, change of clothes, pacifiers, etc. You'll have enough on your plate the first day. Have one less thing to worry about.

Leaving Baby
Cheat and have your husband drop of baby at daycare. Or if you can handle going, bring husband along for support. It is easier if you're not alone. Or if your stronger yet, do it yourself.

Write down a list of baby's likes and instructions for the caregiver ahead of time. You will forget something if you verbalize your wishes the morning of and the caregiver may not remember everything you say. This will ease your mind during the day.

Commute
It will suck. No matter what time you leave, there will be traffic and construction. And you will have forgotten how unfocused other drivers are (playing on their cell phones and whatnot). Your sleep deprived self is just trying to stay awake. Between you and them, it will be an interesting game of bumper cars.

Quickly turn the radio station when a slow or sad song comes on. You will be over emotional. Hear any sad song and you will lose it. Only happy dance music today ladies.

Arriving at Work
Do you work at an office? Do you have a work badge? Congratulations if you found your work badge. I would consider that as being productive for the day. You will forget your badge pin or computer passwords. You think you know them? Wrong. It's muscle memory. Don't think, just push keys. Be prepared with phone numbers of who to call when you realize you don't remember. Once you log in, you will now need to reset your passwords. Great. You need to remember something new. Don't they know you're a new mom.....with a major case of forgetful mom brain? Good luck. You will call the help desk a 2nd time after lunch to reset your forgotten new password.

Tasks
Your tasks for the day will include making up missed training while on leave. Get a cup of coffee. Those videos from high up execs make a good lullaby for sleepy mommies.

You will also have many "what the hell was I working on before leave" moments. Tracking down your over worked team lead will be another challenge too. Plan on producing nothing. Besides you were already productive by locating your work badge.

If you feel the need to actually do something, rearrange your desk. You'll need to find space for all the baby photos you brought in.

The Best Part
Coming home to your smiley little baby. You won't be able to put her down. You can ignore dishes or house chores without guilt.


Good luck! Don't let the working mom guilt get to you too much!

Love,

Tomorrow I Go Back To Work

Tomorrow I go back to work.

Tomorrow I will drink a cup of coffee, or two, or three.

Tomorrow I will wake up before sunlight to try to get myself and two kids ready and out the door on time.

Tomorrow I will listen to my radio station instead of a Mickey Mouse sing along CD for the one thousandth time.

Tomorrow when I get to work, I will wonder how my sleep deprived self made the commute.

Tomorrow my arms will be empty.

Tomorrow I will check the clock often and gaze at photos of my sweet girls.

Tomorrow I will eat a lunch with two hands and not be interrupted.

Tomorrow I may shed a tear, or two, or three.

Tomorrow I will have to pump milk, instead of feeding my little baby myself.

Tomorrow I will race home, prepare dinner, play with our 3 year old, love on our baby, give my husband attention, clean up dinner, give the girls a bath, and then crash on the couch.

Tomorrow my  house will not be picked up.

Tomorrow I will stress over finding time to exercise.

Tomorrow I will declare there are not enough hours in the day.

Tomorrow I will call my mom crying, saying I just can't do it and her words will give me the strength to pick myself up and carry on.

Tomorrow I will be maxed out.

Tomorrow I will I will feel empowered, that I am a working woman, mother, and wife and I can do it all.

Tomorrow my afternoons will no longer consist of cuddle naps.

Love,

Quote

I came along this quote and wanted to share it:

"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant."  ~Jane Sellman

Love,

Last Week of Maternity Leave

Oh how these past 10 weeks have flown by. I blinked and I had a baby and my maternity leave is over. You would be correct to say I'm sad. I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach. Almost like I've done something wrong. It's a guilty feeling or going back to school after summer feeling.

I will never have a block of time off from work like this again. Well not until I retire. I will never have unscheduled carefree weeks where I lose track of the days, stay in our pjs till noon, or spend the days snuggling with Lacey on the couch. I feel like by sending Lacey to daycare, I'm giving her up. I know that sounds silly. She will always be my daughter and I will have time with her on the weekends. But that is how I feel. She'll start going to bed early and I won't get much time with her during the week.

Since I've recovered and it's my last week home, I kept Teagan home from daycare. We jammed packed our days. We explored many parks, had playdates, went to the library, zoo, science center, and a fair, and finally got some swimming in. I'm exhausted. It is challenging going out with a 3 year old and 2 month old. Both are demanding in their own ways. But today on my official last weekday off, Teagan is at daycare and it's just Lacey and I. One last cuddle day. While though my stress level rose a few times this week with both girls, I'm missing Teagan already.

Here are some pics from our week:

Love,

Healthy

Hallelujah! 

I will sing it again,

Hallelujah!

I am healed.

I had complications with my C-Section recovery. I'll spare you the details. I didn't feel like myself until about 7 weeks after my surgery. Besides being physically down, I was emotionally down. I have a hard time "taking it easy." I like to do things myself. Having to wait many weeks to heal was hard for me. Besides not being active, I didn't want to spend my maternity leave disabled. It's so short. It's not fair. 

The hardest part about my slow recovery was not being a 100% mommy to my 3 year old daughter. I didn't trust Teagan not bumping into my incision. She loves to climb on me. Every time she came near me I threw up a hand or an arm to block her. How awful is that when your mommy pushes you away? I was bound to the couch and I couldn't help with bedtime. Her daddy brought bedtime to me. We read books on the couch instead of in her bed. I hated not being able to pick Teagan up, hug her tight, or help care for her. I'm so thankful she has daycare. I couldn't imagine recovering with her at home. How do stay at home moms with C-Sections care for older children? I was sad I couldn't be there for her. I missed playing with her. 

I healed so fast with my first C-section for Teagan. I worked out at 5 weeks, went water skiing at 7 weeks, and ran a 5K at 10 weeks. This recovery was so different. I tried to go on a walk at 5 weeks and became achy. Just from a walk! Its difficult being injured in the summer. There is so much to do and I couldn't even go swimming. 

Enough of the pity party for me because I am healed! I even started jogging again this week (8 weeks postpartum). While though I'm so out of shape and jogging feels awful, I put my chin up high and remind myself how good it is to MOVE and to be healthy. 

My family at one of those Color Run 5Ks last summer

We are so blessed that Lacey is a beautiful healthy little girl. I would take any pain or complication to have a healthy baby. It's all worth it.

Love,

Bottles

I apologize for all the typos in my previous post. I fixed the ones I found and updated the entry. I usually have typos, but being sleep deprived and typing with one hand (cute snugly baby in the other hand) has made them worse. Sorry!

Warning: Another post about breastfeeding. This is the story of my life lately. I told you I could write a blog about breastfeeding alone.

Last Friday I had a playdate scheduled with some friends at the zoo for Teagan. I was stressing about going since I have Lacey and I do not like nursing in public. Zoo trips, including driving time, are well over 3 hours (the time between Lacey's feedings).

I thought this would be a good time to introduce Lacey to a bottle.

So on Friday I sanitized all of our bottles and brought out my trusty Medela pump. I might have cried a little. Bottles mean daycare, and daycare means I go back to work.

Just for kicks I immediately gave Lacey a bottle after I pumped. Without hesitating, she took it. 2oz gone. Hmm. That was too easy. Complete 180 from her sister. Transitioning Teagan to a bottle was difficult to say the least.

We went to the zoo later that day. When Lacey started rooting, I pulled out a bottle and fed her in public. Such FREEDOM! No panic attacks of where to nurse. I even outsourced the feeding:

I guess she's ready to go to daycare... :(.

The next day we went to a BBQ with some friends. I pumped and brought a bottle along. Little did I realized, I grabbed a bottle nipple that we had cut for Teagan for baby rice cereal. It took us a little bit to realize the nipple was cut. Poor Lacey kept spitting the milk back at us. Fail. Luckily we were at a party where there were 3 other babies and all 4 of us moms breastfeed. I felt very comfortable sneaking off to another room to nurse. No questions were asked.

If Lacey will eat from anything, will this be a sign she won't be a picky eater like her big sister? One can hope.

Love,

World Breastfeeding Week

Warning: This post is about breastfeeding, if you didn't pick that up from the title.

My blogger and Facebook friends have reminding me that this is World Breastfeeding Week. As an exclusively breastfeeding mother, I felt I should write a post.

Give it up to all mommas that breastfeed! Hooray. It is no easy task. We take on the responsibility to solely feed our children, including all hours of the night. We give up our bodies, our time, and our sleep. We have to plan our social events around feedings or have to step away to feed our children. Then we occasionally get criticized and judged for simply nurturing our children and heaven forbid we feed our children in public. And as a working breastfeeding momma, I pump twice a day at work to keep up my supply. I get the luxury to be strapped down, away from my baby. I stay longer at work to make up the time, pray no one walks in on me, and have to avoid awkward conversations about where I disappear to during the day. Hooray to all breastfeeding mommas out there!

I do not judge a mother's decision to use formula, breastfeed, or both. Nor do I judge a momma for how long they breastfeed. I support any mom for just being a mom! I will encourage any momma that does breastfeed.

While there are many benefits to breastfeed, the two man reasons I breastfeed are 1) the support I receive from other breastfeeding mommas and my husband and 2) my employer provides mother rooms for me to privately and sanitary pump at work. If it wasn't for these 2 reasons, I know I wouldn't be able to breastfeed.

Now I consider myself a closet breastfeeder. I cannot bring myself to "whip it out" in public. But good for you to any momma that does. No judgement here. It is difficult to go out and run errands, attend social events, or simply go to the zoo with your older children in 2-3 hour increments.

I believe the support for breastfeeding is growing. I can see a difference from my mother's generation. And I hope that one day, it doesn't matter if you breastfeed or formula feed. And that there will be no judgement. And that women won't have to justify their choices.

I am woman, here me "MOO!"

Love,

Transitioning to Daycare

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook asking for advice on transitioning her baby from breastfeeding to bottles. This reminding me I need to do so too! Lacey will be starting daycare in just 2 weeks and we haven't introduced a bottle at all. I guess it is true you forget to do things with the second child.

I'm not too worried. Teagan refused to take a bottle. We bought every kind of bottle/nipple there was without any luck. And you know what? After a couple of days at daycare, she decided she was hungry enough and took a bottle.

Besides mommas having to transition back to work, babies transition too. Our Sweet Tea was a sensitive little baby and the transition to daycare was tough on her. The first week all she wanted to do was nurse when I got home. I don't think she slept much at daycare either since the first time she slept through the night was just after the first week there. But that was short lived. The following few weeks she would wake up every 45 minutes to an hour at night. Talk about exhaustion.

Lacey has been a calmer baby then her big sister. I'm using this as hope that her transition to daycare won't be as traumatic. She loves to be held though. I wanted a cuddly baby and my husband jokes that I sure got one. Her big sister did not cuddle. Lacey won't let me put her down. And I have no problem spoiling her. My time off with her is so limited that I will spoil her. I know at daycare its impossible for the teachers to hold her all day. This is really the only thing I worry about.

We shall see how the transition goes.

Love,

Studying While on Maternity Leave

I started a new position earlier this year. One of the business goals and objectives my new manager has set forth for the year is to learn two new areas of study. This is a goal I struggle with. Since I am a mother, my free time is very limited and spending it advancing myself for work is a challenge. I had brought up my concern to my manager. He is understanding and said its not a high ranking goal. Many of my coworkers take classes on their personal time and I cannot afford the time to do that. I feel guilty.

I had this great idea of learning a new technology while on maternity leave. I would have lots of time, right? Well, here I am only a few weeks left of leave and I have studied nothing. I'm a software engineer. My team uses LINQ and I had planned to brush up on that. I even borrowed a book on LINQ from a coworker before my leave started. I have not opened the book.

I'm already panicking how quickly my return to work date is approaching and I have very little desire to spend it studying. I am being a lousily employee. When I look back at this time will I think about the technologies I learned or the time I spent with my new daughter? The LINQ book just might stay closed.

Love,

Last Friday of You and I

This is an overdue post.

Fridays are Teagan and my's day. That the is day of the week just the two of us hang out. No daycare or busy schedule of the weekend. The last Friday before Lacey was born was important to me. I wanted it to be special. I took my girl to an amusement park farm. As we waited in line to enter, I teared up. Partially from pregnancy hormones but partially from knowing this will be the last Friday of just us two. Teagan couldn't care less about that, she wanted to see goats!

Sorry for the poor quality, this is a photo of a photo.
And don't mind my very pregnant swollen face :)

Love,