The First Day

I wish I started my blog when I went back to work after maternity leave. I have so many stories. Maybe I'll throw one in once and while. I'll chat about the first day now.

I was looking forward to going back to work. Having a structured schedule, even without sleep was appealing. I think I was ready to go back because I knew during my leave I would go back. My husband thought we would drop Teagan off at daycare together. Um, no thank you. I knew it would be hard and I didn't want any part of that. I had him drop her off (and I still do! I'm too soft to drop her off). I left the house first. I had barely any sleep but the excitement of the day gave me energy. Just as I left my sub, I started bawling. The tears hit me out of now where. I didn't expect that.

I would like to say being away from Teagan got easier. But it doesn't really. Its still hard to leave her every morning but you do get used to leaving. My neighbor has recently returned to work from maternity leave and she said its awful. I feel her pain and wish I could give her advice. Working and being a mom is just hard. I have never come across a working momma that says she loves to be away. We're not these workaholic heartless women that is so often portrayed. We love our babies. We love to be with them. We also like our jobs or enjoy working. You need to find a balance between the two.

Whats even harder about finding your balance is having to defend your decision to work. Some comments I've been told have really hurt. You can't just be a working mom. You have to be a working mom with a reason for working. There are a few comments that I don't think I will ever forgot. One being: "I don't understand why you would let someone else raise your kid." [Side note: I worked full time and nursed Teagan for 12 months. Something I'm very proud of. I could have a whole blog on that topic. I'm sure I'll post about that later]. Another comment: "I would feel like a cow if I had to pump." Well you know what, my husband and I are doing a great job raising our kid and MOOOO. Ha. I just made myself laugh.

For other working mommas out there, just remind yourself you're doing what's best for your family and that's all that matters. Children unconditionally love their parents.

Here's my little lovebug when I returned to work. It's hard to remember her being so small.

One of Tea's first big smiles.

A rare moment when Teagan snuggled on me.